


Look what you're doing to me

by gigimethydtrash



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, In-Universe RPF, Long-Distance Relationship, RuPaul's Drag Race References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigimethydtrash/pseuds/gigimethydtrash
Summary: Inspired by the prompt:“idk if you’re taking requests for fics but i just watched on raw dog & ruview that gigi and fields used to date... maybe a jealous crystal fic with her just finding out or something? for some reason i think gigi would be the secure one and crystal the jealous one if the two really had something going on”
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello - it’s been way too long! I’m sorry for the wait, I know some of you have messaged me asking when my next upload would be. I’ve been working on this story for a while and I have to thank the amazing anon who requested it - I hope you’re still around and enjoy it! I’ve really missed writing, I’ve missed Crygi, and I’ve missed interacting with you! This is a non-AU Crygi fic - this is the Prologue and the rest of the fic will be uploaded on Thursday. The Prologue will serve as a background, my hope was to capture their personalities before truly diving into the plot.

The last thing Gigi would have assumed after seeing Crystal barreling into the workroom dressed as a clown with a neon green wig was that the person behind the outfit was shy and even a little bit introverted. Gigi first noticed Crystal’s captivating smile and after hearing her laugh for the first time, Gigi’s insides did tiny somersaults and she actively tried to strike up a conversation with her right away. From those very beginning moments of meeting one another, Gigi knew Crystal would have an overwhelming affect on her. She was completely smitten by Crystal’s nature, always seeming to have a soft spot for her, but not realizing the depths of those feelings until much later in the competition.

It was obvious to all the girls that the two had a special connection, as they were able to clearly see Crystal’s personality shine through when she’d be off in a corner laughing at Gigi or when she would be comforting Gigi when the latter began stumbling towards the end. Crystal was reserved during the beginning stages of the show because she spent most of that time in her head overthinking, Gigi always being the one to put a smile on her face and calm her down, alarmingly quickly upon the two meeting. What Crystal didn’t know, however, was how quickly her romantic feelings for the girl would develop, or how strong they would grow throughout the competition. While it took her a little while to warm up to her other sisters, ultimately knowing they were her family, there was something that differentiated Gigi that allowed their connection to flourish instantly. 

Something that they now laugh about, which Gigi had only learned after they began dating once filming wrapped for the show, was that Crystal’s feelings were basically always there from the start. The sheer panic she felt at being in the bottom three during the very first elimination week after the World’s Worst competition, was terrifying for the mere fact that Crystal would have kicked herself for leaving so early. She was, of course, mostly devastated at not being able to show her drag and grow throughout the show, but there was a tiny piece of her that was also scared she’d be robbed of the opportunity to get to know Gigi. Having this realization cemented her feelings for the girl at such an early point that it became increasingly hard to contain.

That’s why when she found herself in the bottom once again three weeks later after the Snatch Game, she had a bit of a breakdown in front of Jaida. Jaida caught Crystal tearing up outside, secluded from everyone else after begging production to give her a “smoke break,” knowing she didn’t smoke, to just breathe for a moment while the others were getting ready. Upon seeing Crystal’s glasses lazily sitting on the edge of a concrete step, Jaida immediately knew something was off.

“Hey girl, what’s going on?” Jaida asked, assuming Crystal was scared of being in the bottom.

“I can’t believe how badly I fucked up,” Crystal whispered, willing herself not to get worked up again.

“It wasn’t that bad honey. I know you didn’t do as well as you wanted to, but never count yourself out. Honestly, I don’t even think you will be in the bottom, especially from what I can see already with your runway.”

Trying to be appreciative, Crystal nodded along, but it was clear she wasn’t really feeling better and was still too worked up to really talk.

“Is there something else going on in your head right now? I’m here for you baby you don’t have to be alone in your feelings.”

“Thank you. I just really can’t go home right now. And I know that’s such a stupid thing to say because nobody wants to go home but like, Jaida, I seriously cannot go home. It just can’t happen like this. It’s way too fucking soon.”

“Too soon?”

Unable to think of a…smoother way to let out her feelings while they were quite literally eating away at her, Crystal blurted, “I cannot go home and not be here with Gigi.”

As the pieces of the puzzle came together, Jaida slowly nodded. She saw how close the two were, maybe even would have guessed it wasn’t platonic somewhere down the line, but to say she was shocked would be an understatement. Now that she thinks about it, it makes total sense, but the immediate feeling that washed upon her was sadness for her friend who was dealing with not only her dream potentially being ripped away from her, but also the potential of a blooming relationship being hindered. 

“Oh, chile, come here,” Jaida said while putting her arms around Crystal, letting the girl cry on her shoulder. 

“It must be a mind fuck to go through this competition with feelings for one of the other girls. This is such a damn cliche but if it’s meant to be, it will be. Whether something happens between y’all during the show or after, you leaving won’t really get in the way of that even if it might seem like it. You will be here tomorrow, I’m speaking it into the damn universe.”

Laughing, Crystal shrugged, growing a little smaller as she confessed, “I don’t want Gigi to forget about me or what we have if I go home so quickly. Don’t get me wrong, I first and foremost want to be in this fucking competition. But I’m scared I’m going to go home and not be able to talk to her. I know what it’s like here - one day feels like a whole lifetime, it’s an emotional rollercoaster. Knowing she would be experiencing most of that without me hurts.”

Suddenly the backdoor opened, reminding Crystal and Jaida that they were not the only two people in the world, and a producer asked them to go back inside. With a kiss to Crystal’s head, Jaida once again reassured her that she would not be going anywhere, giving herself a mental note to check on Crystal throughout the competition and try to see where Gigi’s feelings were as well. 

As for Gigi, while she knew immediately there was something drawing her to Crystal, she didn’t quite realize the depth of her feelings until the final weeks of filming. She had this lightness about her, being a clear frontrunner consistently in the competition, so when she started stumbling while simultaneously losing her confidence, it was much too daunting to deal with alone. The “Droop” challenge critiques came as a shock to Gigi, thinking she’d done enough to at least receive minor praise. Frankly, she wasn’t used to being critiqued by the judges, so the loosening of her grip on the final and possibly the crown undoubtedly shook her confidence. 

Even worse, the following week was the Choices 2020 competition. It was this week where it set in for Gigi that she was fully going on a downward spiral - it was no longer just one bad week where she was able to save herself with a stunning runway and the sheer luck that some of the other girls tanked even worse than she did. No, now with this being the second week in a row of her being towards the bottom, it set in that she could really go home. Feeling so vulnerable usually forced Gigi to curl into herself, isolate until she could built her confidence back up. 

Not having the luxury of time, all Gigi could think was that she wanted Crystal. She wanted to be in Crystal’s arms, hearing the girl telling her everything would be alright and maybe even making a fool of herself in order to make Gigi laugh. The sheer power of these feelings washing over Gigi were surprising because she didn’t take the time to analyze her strong feelings for Crystal throughout the competition. She tried and she tried while getting ready for the runway to remain calm, fighting off a panic attack, and doing her best to fool herself into thinking everything was under control when the reality of the situation was that it was likely she could be lip syncing for her life. Crystal, on the other hand, was feeling more confident than ever in the competition, finally gaining steam and seeing a path to the crown. She had obviously noticed Gigi being quieter than usual, because she noticed practically everything Gigi did, but had assumed the girl wanted to be left alone to prepare herself. To her surprise, moments before they were to walk the runway, Crystal felt a tug on her wrist and turned around to be met with a look of pure helplessness on Gigi’s face. She’d never felt her heart tug as quickly as it did upon seeing the fear written all over Gigi’s face. Understanding that Gigi wasn’t able to find words, Crystal enveloped her in a soft yet affirming hug, whispering in her ear, “You got this. I promise.”

The feeling of Gigi nodding her head in Crystal’s neck sent shockwaves down her spine, wanting to do everything in her power to comfort the girl and remind her that she should be confident in herself. 

To say Crystal was caught off guard by Gigi’s showing of vulnerability so close to showtime would be an understatement, but it made it clear in her mind that it was her personal mission to lift Gigi’s spirits. After all, there was no doubt in Crystal’s mind that Gigi had to make it to the finals with her. She just had to. She put her fears of potential rejection to the wayside during Untucked to coddle Gigi, never letting go of her hand and doing everything she could to include the girl in the group conversations and making Gigi laugh. She didn’t miss the subtle, yet knowing, smirk on Jaida’s face when the two made eye contact, knowing Crystal was more than just a caring friend. Seeing Gigi so willingly leaning on Crystal gave Jaida as good a confirmation as any that the feelings were mutual, waiting for the two to catch on themselves and further their relationship. 

In Gigi’s head, everything was jumbled together, as she was being driven purely by adrenaline. All she knew was that she wanted Crystal. Again, she felt scared in the competition and wanted to be comforted only by the arms of Crystal Methyd. She didn’t care what that meant, didn’t care about how it looked, because it felt right. It felt right in her bones. 

That’s why, after the elimination of Widow, on the way to de-drag, Gigi pulled Crystal over in a secluded corner of the set to embrace her in a fierce hug.

“What’s this for?” Crystal laughed.

“For being here. With me. For making me feel better when literally nobody else could.” Gigi blushed, unsure if she was about to put herself in an incredibly awkward situation. She figured that being so close to losing everything made her realize exactly what she wanted.

“There was no way you were going home.” Crystal said succinctly, not wanting to ruin the moment or get her hopes up that this meant something more than it did. 

The days that followed opened a new door for the two, growing exponentially closer, which some thought wasn’t even possible, and becoming much more comfortable with playfully touching one another. Where the majority of their exchanges up until this point were friendly, they were entering into flirtatious territory. It seemed as though Crystal’s shell had finally been fully cracked with the other girls as well, whether it was because of her increasing success in the competition, Gigi’s incessant attention and admiration, or a mixture of both. Although the other girls never explicitly called them out, figuring they would talk when they felt comfortable seeing as the two were riding the line of more-than-friendly but not actually together, it was clear that something was brewing. 

That’s why, during another week of Gigi’s heightened nervousness and insecurity, Jackie decided to ask what was going on. It became especially clear to her that deep feelings were there between the two when Gigi came back from her run-through rehearsal with Whoopi and RuPaul for the one woman show. She was completely distraught, on the verge of a panic attack, realizing that the confidence she had in her airplane idea was all for nothing because they were not responding well to it. Even worse, she didn’t know how to pick herself up from it because it felt as though time was moving extra quickly and she was all out of ideas. The tears escaped her eyes immediately after she turned away from the judges, not even able to wait until after she got off the stage. She didn’t dare turn back, but once she walked back into the workroom she desperately searched for Crystal. Crystal and Jackie were laughing about something, perhaps how well one of their rehearsals went or a silly joke that was told, when the two looked up to see Gigi looking absolutely helpless. She walked as fast as she could and practically lunged at Crystal, wrapping her slender arms around the girl and burrowing herself into her neck. What surprised Jackie the most was that just as Crystal began running her hands down Gigi’s back in an effort to console her, it appeared as though Gigi calmed down within seconds. That’s not to say all of the panic vanished, but it was astonishing how much of an impact Crystal had. 

Another thing Jackie had come to learn, especially in the coming days, was that Crystal was extremely protective of Gigi. The two were always invested in one another, practically at the edge of their seats when the other would be performing or rehearsing, but Crystal had a fierceness about her when she watched Gigi - almost testing the others, including the judges, to say the wrong thing to Gigi and hurt her feelings. To Crystal, Gigi was great. Gigi was immensely talented and she just couldn’t understand how anyone could bring her down, so it was almost as if she took offense to some of the critiques. 

Once Jackie was able to get Gigi alone before they were to get ready for the color purple themed runway, she decided to take a chance and ask.

“Do you have a thing for Crystal?”

Gigi immediately blushed. Clamming up, she responded, “is it that obvious?”

Jackie laughed, “Maybe to everyone except Crystal. Have you felt this way since the beginning?”

“Maybe,” Gigi guessed, “I’m not sure. All I know is it’s painfully clear to me now. I think she feels the same but I don’t want to make a big thing of it.”

And that was exactly her intention. Even if the two were to pursue something, Gigi wanted to make sure it didn’t get in the way of the competition or make it awkward for anyone. Wondering if Crystal felt the same was eating away at her. She decided, well, truthfully, it was more of a spur of the moment decision after being so elated that Crystal had won her first challenge, to tell the other girl about her feelings. Gigi was so thrilled she had gotten her groove back all the while Crystal was hitting her stride, proving to everyone that she was very much a real threat. Gigi embarrassingly screamed louder for Crystal than anyone else, hugged her for longer than anyone else, and barely left her side when they were getting out of their drag to go back to the hotel for the night. 

“I’m sorry I’m all over you, I’m just so fucking proud. You did THAT!” Gigi was practically glowing.

Unable to wipe the smile off of her face, Crystal laughed, “Yeah I guess I did. I wouldn’t want to celebrate with anyone else,” she said sweetly. 

Usually, the two’s relationship comprised of them joking around, realizing how much they truly had in common, and playfully making fun of the other girls to get their reactions. These smaller moments, that were quite rare, were Gigi’s favorites because she felt as though she could be as sweet as she wanted to be and Crystal wouldn’t make fun of her for it. They were mushy towards one another and it helped them build a bond, as well as helped Gigi realize her feelings could be mutual. Crystal was still practically clueless, not wanting to get her hopes up that their relationship could be more.

Gigi figured this was as good a time as any, just wanting to tell Crystal how strongly she felt for her after such a short time. 

“No, I mean, what I’m trying to say is that like..” Gigi stumbled, something fairly uncharacteristic for her as she was usually so sure of herself, “Well what I’m trying to ask is if you really mean that. Like, is there anyone else you’d want to be with right now?”

“What do you mean?” Crystal asked, confused if Gigi was referring to the other girls or someone from home. Honestly, she was sort of lost.

“I’m asking because I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I’ve been so down the last few weeks and you’re the only person who I wanted to comfort me, but I only just realized that while I was also there for you when you were down, I want to be here while you win. And when I’m at my best, I want you to be the one next to me.” Gigi blurted, trying to be as clear as possible without outright saying she had feelings for Crystal, hoping she would pick up on that part herself.

“I think I understand what’s happening here. And if I’m understanding correctly,” Crystal boldly moved close enough to Gigi to whisper in the other girl’s ear, as if the two were sharing a secret that nobody else could know, “I want to be with you too.”

While Gigi saw this move as extremely forward, the truth was that Crystal didn’t want to be looking directly into Gigi’s eyes if she was misreading the signals. She was also unsure of how they would move forward with this new revelation that would transform the nature of their relationship.

Gigi broke out into her winning smile, quickly subduing it once they were told it was time to get into the van. Luckily, the two sat in the back together since the very beginning of the competition, along with Jackie. As they shared their usual pack of fruit snacks, Gigi knew she had to find some answers before being alone in her hotel room for the rest of the night reeling over Crystal and the fact that the girl actually felt the same. 

“So, are we keeping this between the two of us?” She whispered, although it wasn’t necessarily needed seeing as Jackie and Jaida were distracted by their own conversation. 

“Do you think that’s best?” Crystal asked, having no idea how to move forward.

“I think we have a lot of stuff to figure out together. I’m sure the girls think something might be going on, but I don’t want to put any pressure on you or on us to come to any conclusions too quickly.” Gigi said, making sure to meaningfully squeeze Crystal’s hand, trying to communicate that her feelings were there, this was just unchartered territory.

“Yeah, I agree. I also don’t want this to get in the way of the next week. Let’s just continue how we’ve been, maybe talk if we have the opportunity, and figure the rest out later?” Crystal asked hopefully.

“That sounds perfect. By the way, I really care about you Crys. I don’t think you realize how crazy I am about you. It’s getting fucking hard to hide,” Gigi laughed before continuing, “especially when you’re winning like that. It’s kind of a turn on.”

“Kind of?” Crystal laughed, reveling in Gigi’s admiration.

“A definite turn on.” Gigi confirmed, wishing she could just lean over and kiss Crystal, wondering what her lips tasted like.

The last week of the competition went extremely successfully, with Gigi winning and the two keeping their relationship relatively the same as it was before they had talked. Unfortunately, Crystal wouldn’t know if she made it to the finals over Jackie for many months to come, but she had confidence in her track record and felt lucky to have left the competition with a new family and a very new blossoming relationship. The two spoke at length, having quite an emotional conversation about what they meant to each other, before parting ways with the promise that they would pursue a relationship. While the long distance seemed overwhelming, they knew they would be seeing one another often and would likely tour together. Not to mention the fact that neither of them wanted to miss out on the opportunity of being together, not wanting to entertain any other options. 

As the weeks went by, their bond grew even stronger despite the distance keeping them from one another. They quickly decided to tell their season twelve sisters about the progression of their relationship, unable to keep it a secret any longer and just wanting to gush over one another to other people. It wasn’t exactly shocking for Jaida, Jackie, or even Heidi, while some of the other queens who had left earlier weren’t able to see how much the two leaned on one another throughout the competition. The support was overwhelming, it being clear that Gigi and Crystal were smitten with each other. Gigi decided to ask Crystal to make their relationship official through FaceTime, unable to wait until she would see her in person again. 

Watching the episodes back, it became clear to Crystal that Gigi had cared about her even more than she had once thought, and had her back from the very beginning. The girls in the cast all joke that Gigi is seemingly the most smitten as portrayed through the episodes, but they all knew in real life that Crystal was the one that would be talked into doing anything for Gigi and was always giving Gigi her way. They were able to see through small things in the workroom, as well as their press tour, how Crystal would touch Gigi lovingly and cater to all of her needs. It was all in her eyes how protective she was of Gigi and just how much she loved her. Jaida was really the only one to know how early Crystal’s feelings developed, being physically there for Crystal when she faced those feelings so early on.

What not all of the girls knew, however, was that Crystal was a tad insecure about being with someone as confident and picture perfect as Gigi - especially in a long distance relationship. While she knew Gigi was committed to her and wanted to be with her, there was a restlessness in the back of her mind that served as a constant reminder that Gigi was highly sought after. Gigi was glamorous and immensely talented in drag, but outside of drag she was also a total catch. Extremely humble, kind, and goofy. Gigi, despite her appearance, was one of the most down to earth and approachable people Crystal had ever met. Crystal knew the fame of the show would only elevate Gigi’s appeal and she couldn’t help but wonder if Gigi would grow tired of maintaining a relationship that spanned thousands of miles. Her admiration for Gigi was clear from the start, but it was also something that raised self-doubt. Not necessarily because she thought she wasn’t good enough, but because there was a sense of impeding doom that things were just too perfect. She wasn’t this lucky.

After all, Crystal could never realistically picture Gigi moving to Springfield, especially since it would only hurt her career. She herself didn’t really want to move permanently anywhere anytime soon, though. She was scared Gigi would slip through her fingers. The two had a dream-like relationship, it only getting difficult when Crystal would get too much in her head and avoid communicating with Gigi, meanwhile Gigi would always tell her there was nobody else she’d rather be with. She wished she could diminish the distance altogether, wished there was a world where she could feel more secure in not just her relationship, but in her future. Truthfully, she had no idea what her future looked like, where she would end up, and it scared her to death to think of Gigi not being with her. She was a worrier. Everyone knew it, especially Gigi. And it wasn’t as though Gigi wasn’t sympathetic, she just didn’t get it sometimes. And Crystal wasn’t the best at explaining herself, which was also well-known. Gigi had her own worries, but there was this calmness about her, that she had claimed to be blatant delusion, that everything would be alright. In this particular circumstance, Gigi truly believed everything would be alright simply because it had to be. Her and Crystal just had t be together, so they’d always find a way. The road may be bumpy at times and she may struggle at times, but that never wavered her confidence in what she had with Crystal. Crystal’s brain wasn’t wired the same way. 

This wasn’t a big deal to Crystal. These were the fears that existed all the way in the back of her mind, bordered up and surrounded by the happiness she felt from her relationship with Gigi. She knew in her heart of hearts that her and Gigi would make it because she loved the girl with every ounce of her being. They lifted one another up, saw each other in a way nobody else ever did, and understood one another in a way nobody else ever could. They trusted one another, which is why Gigi was fully aware of Crystal’s anxieties, doing everything in her power to reassure her partner that they would face all of those issues together. The only time her insecurities got the best of her was when random people would approach Gigi at the club, as if she didn’t exist. To their defense, her and Gigi’s relationship wasn’t public. They were quite touchy when they were out, but they’d never been the couple to be excessive with PDA. When this would happen, Crystal would turn into a huge brat. She’d get unreasonably mad at Gigi, not because the girl was being forward, but because she was too kind to turn anyone away. She was always open to conversing with strangers, obviously not reciprocating their advances or their blatant flirting, but it irritated Crystal that Gigi wouldn’t say she wasn’t available. 

Gigi was extremely patient with Crystal, even during these outbursts, for the most part. When it didn’t go well, it wasn’t fun for anyone. Gigi would get annoyed when Crystal would make a big deal out of nothing, letting her dissatisfaction linger throughout the night and making unnecessary comments to Gigi about how she’d probably rather be taking to the people fawning over her instead of her own girlfriend. It was an impossible battle. Seeing as Gigi struggled with similar issues herself, she always reminded herself not to snap at Crystal because it was coming from a place that not even Crystal could totally control. Crystal knew she crossed a line when Gigi would get nasty back, telling her to drop it not before spending most of her time telling Crystal she just didn’t want to be rude to a stranger. 

To Gigi’s pleasant surprise, Crystal was not in any way irritated by the praise Gigi received online. She often joked that she was proud everyone wanted her partner because that meant everyone saw how amazing Gigi was and she was the one that happened to be lucky enough to be with her. Gigi knew social media was different than being in person, but the drastic difference Crystal felt confused her. If she was being honest, it also kind of hurt her that she could spend so much time reassuring Crystal, only for it to go in one ear and right out the other. She felt helpless at times, but she thanked her lucky stars that these instances were few and far between. It was just like banging her head against a wall to deal with it when these situations arose. Hence, her current predicament. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! Although this fic has taken longer than expected, I really love it and I hope you do too(:

Crystal knew the two hadn’t known each other for that long, but she thought they knew everything about each other. At least, they knew the important things like Gigi’s tricky relationship with her family, Crystal’s insecurities about jeopardizing her career by staying in Springfield, and where they wanted their drag to go. They felt comfortable telling each other basically everything, even knowing the little things about one another that others may not notice. Like how Gigi bit the inside of her lip when she was angry, willing herself not to say something she didn’t mean, or how she always leaned forward when she got nervous, as though she was trying to suffocate the butterflies causing a frenzy in her insides. Gigi had memorized Crystal’s distinct laughs, the screechier it was, the more natural. She’d also grown accustomed to Crystal’s love of trying new things - the latest being her attempts at yoga. So obviously, Crystal felt confident that she knew everything she needed to know about Gigi. 

That was until she got together with her Get Dusted sisters to watch the latest episode of Rawdog and Ruview. She watched these episodes because she loved Gigi’s friends who had become her own personal friends as well. But she also watched with the secret hope that her girlfriend would make an appearance or she’d hear her laugh in the background. It never failed to cause butterflies in her stomach. She knew it was beyond cheesy, but Crystal had never been so in love with anyone in her life. 

Not even five minutes into the video featuring Fields, who Crystal had met during one of her many trips to LA, luckily getting along with and genuinely liking all of Gigi’s friends, Grant made a comment that threw Crystal for a loop. He said that Fields and Gigi used to date. At first, Crystal thought it was a joke. Of course it had to be a joke. Crystal knew Gigi had only met Fields about two years ago, around the time she moved to LA, or at least that’s what she presumed because Gigi never told her otherwise. When she saw Rubber not contesting Grant’s claim, as well as surveying the embarrassed look Fields was sporting, she felt a pit grow in her stomach and anger simmer to the forefront of her head. She realized Gigi conveniently left this detail out. Gigi didn’t think to tell her that she used to date someone she spends practically everyday with. Even better was the fact that Crystal assumed their relationship had to have occurred not long before the two met on drag race. Did she not clue Crystal in on this because she still had feelings for Fields when filming started? Or was it because she thought Fields didn’t have feelings for her anymore so it wasn’t worth mentioning? Either way, she was fuming. 

Gigi didn’t even have the decency to warn Crystal about what she might hear in the video. It hurt her feelings a lot to realize Gigi just didn’t care. It then made her fearful that there was a possibility Gigi had feelings for Fields when they met, while Crystal was helplessly falling for her, or that she could even still have unresolved feelings for him. After all, why else wouldn’t she have told her? The cherry on the top of the cake was the surprise of her friends when they heard about her girlfriend’s previous relationship, Crystal having to answer Lux’s question that she, indeed, had known nothing about it before this. Needless to say, her friends could clearly see she was not happy.

Usually, Gigi knew their routine was that Rubber would tell the Get Dusted girls what day the Rawdog would be uploaded, they would make a plan to eat dinner together, plan some things for their upcoming show, and then watch the Rawdog. Afterwards, Crystal would call Gigi and they’d talk about their opinions on the episode. Many times, the Get Dusted girls and Gigi’s friends would partake in the conversation as well, depending on if Gigi was with them at the time of the call or if the two felt like talking privately. When Gigi didn’t hear from Crystal the first two hours after the video was uploaded, she decided to call the girl. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that she’d be in the dog house. Crystal knew Gigi and her friends were having a small party like they usually did on the weekends, so she figured maybe Crystal wouldn’t want to bother her and that’s why she hadn’t heard from her. After all, the episode had been uploaded later than usual. 

However, when she didn’t get an answer after the first three attempts of calling, she began wondering if she did something wrong.

Gigi: hey babe. I was waiting for your call, everything alright?

This much was true. Gigi was feeling all cute even though she wasn’t in drag, excited to FaceTime Crystal on the porch while her friends hung out in the house. As much as she didn’t want to be that person, she was feeling a little down at the prospect of not talking to her girlfriend. She wanted to have a good time with her friends, but her disappointment kept growing that she wouldn’t hear from Crystal until tomorrow, knowing even that would be limited because they both had a busy day. Long distance was hard, especially when your partner also doubled as your best friend. It was magical having Crystal play so many important roles in her life, but it was also a huge bummer when she missed the girl. And this was one of those times.

Crystal: figured you’d be busy at your party.

The truth was, Gigi absolutely detested seeing Crystal upset. Especially if it was something that could have been prevented or something Gigi did herself. There was nothing worse than hearing Crystal cry and being thousands of miles away from her. She always told the girl she would do everything she could to make her problems go away. Crystal herself was grateful for Gigi’s patience and understanding, knowing it could be frustrating when Crystal was feeling stubborn. Gigi wasn’t sure if Crystal was upset because the distance was getting to her, just as it had been getting to Gigi, or if something else was going on. Gigi’s gut was telling her she wasn’t being met with an upset Crystal, but instead with an angry Crystal behind the screen, which was by far her least favorite Crystal. And it frankly wasn’t adding up, mostly because the anger seemed to be directed at her. Yet, she couldn’t think of what she could’ve done in the span of the few hours they hadn’t talked that would result in this response. 

The text seemed cold, so Gigi proceeded with caution.

Gigi: you know I’m never too busy for you. I love your calls.

Crystal: seems like you’ve actually been very busy for the past year hiding your relationship with Fields. guessed you’d be busy spending time with him seeing as you conveniently forgot to mention you’ve been spending every waking day with your ex. 

At first, Gigi wasn’t sure if Crystal was kidding. The two never really talked about past relationships. The serious ones, sure, but they were so confident in their relationship and focused on one another that past hookups really never came up. Gigi only has eyes for Crystal, so it didn’t really make sense to her why Crystal would feel intimidated. However, when she realized Crystal was definitely not kidding, she decided it’d be best to call her girlfriend and nip this in the bud. After all, it had to be a misunderstanding and the last thing she wanted was to be called a liar for no apparent reason, especially by Crystal. Even the idea of the accusation started to get Gigi’s blood boiling. 

After another two failed attempts at a phone call, Gigi was getting mildly annoyed.

Gigi: please answer your fucking phone. Are you just planning on not talking to me?

Crystal knew she would answer, purposefully wanting Gigi to feel even an ounce of the frustration she was feeling. She knew it was petty, but her behavior was a result of Gigi’s utter stupidity and carelessness. She couldn’t believe Gigi couldn’t see that.

The next time Gigi called, Crystal answered on the first ring.

“Sorry to take you away from your boyfriend.” Crystal said bitterly

“You’re the only person I want to be with, Crystal.” Gigi tried her hardest not to snap, knowing Crystal was trying to get her to be the bad guy.

“Go fuck yourself. Stop saying that.”

Gigi laughed sarcastically. “Okay. Then tell me what to do because it sounds like you’re going to jump down my fucking throat no matter what I say.”

Gigi wasn’t one to seriously brag about herself, but she knew she was a pretty damn good girlfriend. She knew Crystal deserved the best, so she always tried to think of how her actions would impact her partner’s feelings and how to make their relationship as healthy as possible. There was nothing worse than being accused doing the exact opposite when all of her time and energy, willingly so, went towards making Crystal feel loved. While Gigi wasn’t one to lose her temper, this was a sure fire way of getting her to lose it. 

“You couldn’t have even given me a fucking warning that they might keep that in the video, let alone actually telling me yourself that you dated one of your best friends? You even let me hang out with the guy not realizing he was your fucking ex! Come on!”

“Crystal it’s not fucking like that. Why are you being like this? It wasn’t fucking serious and you would know that if you would’ve just let me explain instead of making a big deal out of everything.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, babe. You’re right. As your partner, I shouldn’t know about your relationship history. Or at the very least, that you were fucking one of your best friends. Who, not to mention, you were all too willing to let me befriend. I must be fucking insane.”

“We’ve never talked about it! We never had a conversation about past hookups. You are taking this so far it’s completely fucking unfair. How many times do I tell you how much I love you, how you’re the only person in the fucking world for me and you don’t give a shit! You want to cling onto this stupid thing from a fucking youtube video as if it has any relevance anymore! If it makes you fucking feel better I’ll text you a list of everyone I’ve ever had sex with. You know what, I’ll send you a list of anyone I’ve ever even thought about in a sexual way so there’s no more surprises. Would that make you happy? God knows you wouldn’t do the fucking same anyway.”

As Gigi went on, she raised her voice to the point that her friends had watched her yelling in the middle of the street. It was obvious she was agitated and fighting with someone, presumably Crystal, on the other line. 

“You’re an asshole” is all Crystal said before hanging up.

When Crystal realized, after waiting silently by her phone for the next twenty minutes, that Gigi wasn’t even going to make an attempt at calling her back, let alone patch things up, she decided to call it a night. That was one of the worst nights Crystal had had in years, knowing it was the first time since knowing Gigi that they would go to bed angry at one another. Needless to say, she cried herself to sleep.

When Gigi realized, after standing on a street corner for what felt like hours, that Crystal had hung up on her purposefully she wanted to put her fist through the cement. She was angry at Crystal. Angry at herself. Angry at the situation and the fact that she couldn’t even really understand why Crystal was feeling the way she was feeling or how to make it better. Most of all, angry they had to fight through a phone call and she couldn’t see Crystal in person to work this out. They only had a limited amount of time together and it frustrated Gigi to no end that their time was being spent in such a horrible way. Instead of building on their relationship and gradually creating a stronger connection everyday, they were getting sucked into a minor issue, one that could be easily resolved, because Crystal decided to lose her mind over it. And that’s what Gigi didn’t understand. It just felt like Crystal wanted a fight. No, she didn’t just want a fight, she wanted one with Gigi herself and that realization added a layer of hurt onto her anger. She didn’t have to say much to her friends when she went back into the party to gather her belongings to leave, muttering, “I don’t want to talk about it.” It was not a good feeling, Gigi deciding to black out to avoid the pain and unbearable anger she felt.

As Gigi spent the morning and, basically all afternoon, nursing a hangover, she was simultaneously reeling from her fight with Crystal. She felt awful knowing she let Crystal go to sleep with the last words she said to her being some tangent, berating the girl for being hurt. One of the things Gigi prided herself on was always hearing people out, very rarely ever being quick to belittle someone or invalidate their feelings. That’s exactly what she thought she did to the person she loved the most. While she didn’t believe she was wrong, she still wanted Crystal to know she never intended to undermine her feelings and she’d be more than willing to listen. Which is exactly what she failed to do the previous night. Rather than walking on eggshells sending texts to Crystal, which Gigi assumed she’d ignore anyway, Gigi decided to rip the bandaid by calling Crystal. After all, Crystal was probably already pissed off that it’d taken Gigi half the day to call her anyway, already having to have numerous phone call meetings and a photoshoot while hungover. Gigi guessed it was karma. 

Much to her surprise, Crystal answered on the first try. 

“Hello?” Crystal said completely monotone, not giving Gigi the chance to read her and assess the situation.

“Hi.” Gigi said shyly, which would usually melt Crystal’s heart because she knew Gigi was a big softie who absolutely hated fighting with the people she loved. This time Crystal was too hurt to care.

“Hi.” Crystal responded, not making it easy for Gigi. She was determined to have her partner lead the conversation because she felt that’s the least she deserved.

“Okay I’m surprised you answered honestly.” Gigi said.

“You call, I answer. You say jump, I say how high.”

“Crystal I don’t want to fight. I miss you. We were both angry last night and I want to talk it out, but I can’t deal with you not telling me what’s going on. I should’ve never ever let you go to bed angry or thinking I was unwilling to listen. That isn’t us.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t even try to call me back last night. I cried myself to sleep while I’m sure you were partying.”

Gigi’s heart clenched at Crystal’s admission.

“No, I went home and gave myself a brutal hangover if that makes you feel better,” Gigi said, always trying to make the situation lighter, adding, “I fucked up by not calling you. I’m sorry.”

Crystal knew she was being genuine. It hurt Crystal particularly because it was so unlike Gigi to leave her hanging like that, so she decided to give her a one time pass for the sake of their relationship.

“Okay. Do you seriously not understand where I’m coming from about Fields?”

“Honestly? Not really. I mean you jumped to conclusions so fast I didn’t even know where to start explaining to you. It really was not serious.”

“So it wasn’t serious but it was relevant enough to bring up in a video?” Crystal questioned.

“Are you upset because I didn’t tell you or because you found out when everyone else did? Is this really about some fucking video my friends did?”

“Don’t fucking do that. You know I don’t care about things like that. Don’t make this about something it isn’t - I don’t give a shit that they talked about it in a youtube video. I give a shit that I found out through a youtube video that my girlfriend dated one of her best friends. It’s not like this is some guy from years ago Gigi, he’s in your fucking life more than I am!”

“So is that it then? You’re mad that I see him more than you? Because I can’t suddenly erase thousands of miles even though I wish I could. I wish this distance didn’t exist, I sat by myself on the couch at this fucking party you’re so obsessed with waiting for you to call me because I didn’t want to go so long without talking to you. But you just don’t want to see that for some reason.”

“It’s not about the fucking distance! It’s about you not being honest with me! It’s about you keeping something like this from me! All the times you’ve told me you were spending time with him alone, all the times you told me you were being ‘creative’ together, all the times you danced with him at the club. And you didn’t think to mention he was your fucking ex! That’s borderline cheating in my mind and you’re trying to make me feel crazy.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel anything! I would never EVER cheat on you and I’ve never touched ANYONE in any possible way you could be implying. How fucking dare you.”

“Then tell me what the fuck it was Gigi!” Crystal yelled, unable to contain her anger and the growing frustration she was feeling because of Gigi’s lack of transparency.

“Great, I’m glad you finally asked instead of always assuming the worst of me. I met Fields on Tinder when I was 17. I was lonely, I’d never had a proper boyfriend, and I didn’t even know what I was looking for. We dated for a few months but it was mostly talking online and hooking up when we were able to see each other, which was not often so we ended up breaking up. We decided to stay friends because we were basically friends the entire time anyway and nothing bad happened. When I moved to LA, he happened to be moving around the same time so we spent a lot of time together and started flirting again. I think it was mostly out of boredom and we were both painfully single. We’d dance at the club and it ended in a few hookups. Friends with benefits at most. We tried to go on a few dates but there was nothing there. I realized it before he did so technically I ended things, but this all happened in the span of a few weeks, maybe a month. Which, by the way, was months before I went on drag race and met you.”

“So why couldn’t you have just said that?”

“Um.. because you never gave me the chance? I understand you being angry that I never mentioned it but it just really was not serious to me. And it really fucking annoys me that you reacted this way.”

“How do you not think it’s a big deal that you kept this from me? You’re telling me you really felt nothing for him?”

“I don’t know Crystal! I liked him when I was 17 years old. I didn’t have any other experience! It was comfortable to date him in LA after things ended with my ex because I already knew Fields and I didn’t have to try. Maybe that’s a bad thing, but no I don’t think it was remotely serious. I had nothing to lose to try and see if something romantic was there.”

“Tell me this then, did he write any songs about you?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I don’t know! How should I know the answer to that?” Gigi said, not even attempting to keep the seething anger and frustration from her voice. She knew this was a losing battle.

“Oh well if you’re such good friends, I’d assume he wouldn’t have anything to write about. And if he did, it wouldn’t be weird to tell you because there’s nothing happening anymore. You know why I don’t believe this was all an accident? Because you knew I would freak out if I knew the truth so you just didn’t fucking bother with it.” 

“Yep. That’s it. I actually am lying to you and I’m having an affair with Fields. I even convinced Rubber to keep it in the video because I wanted to flaunt it.”

“Do you even know if his feelings for you were serious? I think it’s more than fucking fair to be concerned that someone you spend so much time with might have feelings for you. Especially if feelings were already there before. You might want to grow up and take responsibility for your carelessness.”

Gigi had never heard Crystal sound so harsh or so cold. It wasn’t like her. Gigi’s mind was racing too fast to even attempt to analyze where this was coming from. All she knew was at this point she felt attacked and she saw red.

“You know what? This wouldn’t have been a big deal if you would’ve communicated instead of losing your shit with me last night or if you tried to acknowledge that I’ve always proven how much I care about you. Apparently everyone can see it except for you and that’s a problem. I sure as hell don’t know all of the people you’ve slept with or briefly dated, but yet you didn’t see the point in telling me. I’m constantly consoling you and reminding you how faithful I am, which I have no problem doing, yet you have never done the same for me in the entire time we’ve been together. You don’t think I’m not jealous of the people who get to spend time with you everyday? You don’t think I don’t notice the people who shamelessly check you out in the club while I have my arm around you? Fucking please. But yes, Fields is the problem.”

“Well I guess you’ve been holding that in for a while.” Crystal said, unable to hide the shock from her voice. She was still deeply hurt and filled with anger, but she couldn’t ignore the growing pit in her stomach that this issue wasn’t an isolated incident. This was the symptom of a much larger problem in their relationship. And that scared Crystal.

“I guess I have.” Gigi huffed.

“I think we should give each other some space. Figure out whatever it is we’ve been ignoring.” Crystal stated boldly, fearing they would keep arguing like this instead of making any progress.

“You mean you don’t want to talk at all?" Gigi said stunned, not believing Crystal would actually be alright with not talking to her. She definitely wasn’t okay with it, but she guessed she’d have to be.

Over the next few days, Crystal found that she didn’t want to talk to anyone, not just Gigi. She had a jealousy problem. She was so scared she’d lose Gigi to the next best thing that she was sabotaging her own relationship. Crystal wasn’t used to a long distance relationship, nor was she used to the sheer depth of feelings she had for Gigi. There was something so special about the two of them together it scared her half to death because she had everything to lose at this point. She was having trouble deciphering where her rightful anger at the Fields situation started and where her unfair resentment that stemmed from her own insecurities ended. 

Gigi, on the other hand, spent her time drowning in guilt. She’d feel an overwhelming anger at how Crystal was treating her, but then she’d feel sad that Crystal really didn’t believe her. She didn’t believe Gigi was committed to her. Was it something Gigi wasn’t doing right or was Crystal just having an issue accepting love? Gigi also felt bad for spinning the situation, revealing her own jealousy in the midst of Crystal expressing hers. She almost felt like she took away Crystal’s justification for her anger. All she knew was she’d do anything to rewind time back to that night on the phone, trying something, anything, differently to prevent this mess. At this point, she didn’t know what the future held for Crystal and herself. She was scared that future could be much shorter than she originally thought. 

The period of time that the two took to themselves ended up being longer than either expected. Crystal was far too upset to reach out, still trying to process the fact that while she was so caught up in how hurt she felt with Gigi and all of her jealousy, Gigi could have also been feeling hurt by her. It may sound silly, but Crystal never even took the time to consider that someone as confident and bold as Gigi could feel insecure in their relationship, that Gigi couldn’t see just how crazy Crystal was about her. Maybe, she guessed, this was the frustration Gigi tried countless times to explain to her when Crystal was the one feeling insecure.

Gigi decided after the first few days of, almost pathetically, sulking over Crystal, that she should stop feeling sorry for herself. Instead of continuing to fail at explaining herself to Crystal, she’d listen to exactly what Crystal said. She would have a conversation with Fields, with the hopes that it would clear some of the tension with Crystal. 

Gigi’s friends had tried asking Gigi what had happened, all of them being extremely open with one another, but were surprised to find Gigi didn’t want to talk at all. This happened very rarely with Gigi, so they knew to back off, but it was quite awkward visibly watching Gigi look tormented without helping her. They figured they would give her a few days before intervening. To their surprise, she entered the apartment in higher spirits than anyone expected, immediately joining in on the small talk that was going on. She finally felt as if she was doing something productive, something that would hopefully fix whatever it was that went wrong with her favorite person in the world. As subtle as possible, so that it wasn’t such a big deal, Gigi quietly asked Fields to take a walk with her.

“Is everything okay?” Fields wondered, obviously aware that it wasn’t.

The truth was, Gigi didn’t want to go behind her girlfriend’s back and spill all of the details of their fight with the one person she seemed to be jealous of the most. However, she knew she had to do something and the more she thought about it, the more she realized she really didn’t know where Fields stood. She doubted he had feelings for her still, but the reality was that they never addressed it in a serious way. That was about to change.

“Yeah I’ll be alright, I’ve just been thinking. I didn’t tell Crystal that we used to date and so when she found out during the Rawdog, she was asking me questions I never even asked myself.”

“Okay.” Fields said wearily, knowing this wasn’t really coming from Gigi because she wasn’t one to dwell on their history, the two of them having an unspoken agreement of sorts that that part of their relationship was over.

“I mean, do you ever think about it? If things were different and we made it?” Gigi honestly wondered, grateful she was having this conversation even though she previously didn’t think it was necessary. 

“Yeah, sometimes. I mean, you’re really important to me so obviously I’d want to end up with someone who I vibe with as well as I do with you.”

“Yeah totally. That makes sense. But, I mean, I don’t know, did you feel the same way I did when I ended things the last time?”

“Honestly?” Fields asked.

“Of course.” Gigi said confidently, hiding her fear that this could lead to an admission she wasn’t prepared for.

“I think it was easier for you than it was for me. I didn’t really agree at the time, I mean I was having fun just being with you. At the same time, I don’t know if I just wanted to be with you because it was fun and comfortable and safe or if I really saw something serious in the future.”

“What about now?”

“Now is different. Seeing you with Crystal really made me sure of that. You were never this happy or this fucking in love with me. And it made me realize I want that with someone too, I don’t want what we had which was just more of a friendship. Can I ask why?”

“Well, when Crystal was asking what our relationship was, I didn’t really know how you felt or anything. I had like no answers for her.” Gigi laughed, mostly out of self-pity but also because she was so unbelievably stupid to think Fields felt the exact same way she did without bothering to ask him. She found that Crystal was partially right, it turns out it was more serious for him. She kind of felt bad it took her this long to address it with her friend.

“Is that why you’ve been so down? Did something happen with Crystal?” Fields asked, knowing he probably wouldn’t get an answer. He figured it was worth a shot.

“We’re working through some things, but no it isn’t about you or us. I guess it’s just a rough spot, I don’t really want to think about it.” Gigi tried to be as honest as possible, not wanting to let on that Fields did play a role in their argument, knowing it wasn’t really his fault.

“Well I’m glad we finally talked about us.” Fields said honestly.

“Yeah and I’m sorry for never addressing it. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“Nah, you just saw the truth before I did.”

“Be honest, are any of your songs about me?” Gigi joked, not really expecting a yes.

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t really want to think about it.” Fields laughed, nudging Gigi after using her own words against her. The truth was, Gigi did inspire him to write, but there was no need in dredging up more of the past when their present was perfectly clear.

Crystal made it clear to her friends as well that she didn’t want to discuss the impending doom of her relationship. What she decided to do, however, was call the one person who knew the best just how much she cared about Gigi.

“Hey girl!” Jaida cheerily said over the phone, expecting that Crystal called to talk about their upcoming Drive n’ Drag show in Chicago. She couldn’t wait to see her sisters for the first time in months.

“Hi Jaida,” Crystal said, attempting to match Jaida’s energy and failing miserably. 

“What’s up?” Jaida unsurprisingly clocked her right away.

“Do you have a minute to talk?” Crystal asked, knowing Jaida was likely busy already participating in the other Drive n’ Drag shows.

“For you, of course. What’s going on?”

“Gigi.” This was all Crystal had to say for Jaida to understand just why Crystal sounded so ragged and upset. Maybe it was because Jaida was the one to console her all those months ago at the beginning of drag race, being there from the very beginning for Crystal, or because Jaida was just unbelievably compassionate, or because she knew both Gigi and Crystal, but Crystal felt that she was always the best help. She gave Crystal a better perspective because she wasn’t just Crystal’s friend, she knew Gigi outside of Crystal.

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story, but we haven’t talked in like a week? And you know that’s never happened before. I fucking suggested it, which was so stupid because I miss her but things were just getting so out of hand? We were fighting more than ever and I don’t know if it’s because something’s wrong with us or if it’s the distance making us both frustrated. Either way, it brought up some real issues and I just cannot believe this is happening.” Crystal said, quickly stopping before she could start crying again.

“From my point of view, you two are so in love it’s sickening. My boyfriend and I have just started this long distance thing and it is not easy baby. I don’t know how you two do it, so give yourselves some credit for that. Do you wanna tell me what the problems are?”

“Yeah. You’re right. It’s just hard when we don’t see each other for this long. But, I basically just found out that Gigi dated one of her close friends and never bothered to tell me so you know I made a big deal about it. I just can’t help but get so fucking jealous at the thought of Gigi and someone she used to date spending all this time together while I can’t see her.”

“I’m guessing that you lashed out and that’s what caused the fight?”

“Yeah. And maybe I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, but I did and I can’t change that now. I just don’t get why she wouldn’t have told me. I mean wouldn’t it just be so much easier to date someone you can see everyday than someone who lives in the middle of nowhere Missouri with no intention of moving anytime soon? How long can we really do this for?”

“First of all, Gigi is a big girl and can make her own decisions. She doesn’t want easy, she wants real. She doesn’t want a relationship out of convenience, she wants one out of love and she so clearly loves you. You can’t question that without making her feel like she’s doing something wrong in your relationship. Do you think she’s doing something wrong?”

“You’re right. I guess I didn’t realize that me thinking this way would make her feel so helpless.”

“You have to realize you’re a fucking prize! You are a bad bitch and Gigi is lucky to have you. Yes, you’re lucky to have Gigi and it’s challenging to be with someone so sure of themselves, trust I know that. But, would you want Gigi to doubt herself or your feelings for her just to make you feel better?”

“Of course not.”

“Alright, so appreciate her confidence and understand that it all stems from how much she cares about you. She’s confident in your relationship because she knows how special it is! I know you know it too, hell you knew what the two of you had was special days after meeting her. Tap into that! You’re so confident in yourself, let that shine. Let that make you confident in your relationship.”

It wasn’t as if Jaida had some secret formula or was saying all of these groundbreaking things. However, the way Jaida said it was groundbreaking to Crystal. The truth was, a large part of her believed her jealous streak, especially combined with her underlying insecurities, could very well sabotage her relationship. It just made her absolutely mad that any of her jealousy could be justified in such a way that Gigi had kept something so big from her.

“Yeah I know I’m hurting my relationship. I just don’t know how to stop it. I feel so stupid saying it, but I just became so jealous of Gigi’s ex I saw red.”

“You can’t control how you feel, but you can control how you react. Just communicate with Gigi. Her not mentioning this to you sounds like typical stupid Gigi, but I don’t think it was malicious. Right?”

“Right,” Crystal sighed before adding, “and she unravelled telling me she gets jealous too and all of these things that I also neglected.”

“Okay so what I’m hearing is that the two of you are probably much more hurt than you are angry. Don’t think this is all your fault, I just wanted to give you the other side. Truth is, if my boyfriend pulled that shit he’d have some explaining to do too,” Jaida laughed, wanting Crystal to feel better after talking to her, not worse.

Joining in on the laughter, Crystal felt like she gained a lot more clarity that she had when entering this conversation. She felt lighter. 

Gigi knew she wanted to be the first to reach out, partially making up for not calling Crystal back all those nights ago. She also knew it would only be a matter of one day before seeing Crystal again for their Drive n’ Drag gig, something they were both desperately counting down the days for. It was absolutely devastating that after months of not seeing one another, they would finally reunite with all of these issues looming over them. Gigi decided to suck it up, closing her eyes after hearing the first ring, hoping Crystal would answer the phone.

“Hello?” Crystal said, unable to keep the hopefulness out of her voice, praying this call wasn’t some sort of sick joke or accident, but that Gigi had missed her just as much as she missed Gigi.

Gigi didn’t miss the different tone in Crystal’s voice, the butterflies in her stomach erupting. 

“Hi, baby” Gigi tried, wanting so badly to pretend just for a second that things were back to normal, missing feeling close to Crystal.

“Who’s this?” Crystal joked, wanting to keep the mood light but secretly reveling in hearing Gigi talk to her like this.

“Your partner who misses you very very much.”

“I miss you too.”

“I know we have some things to work out and I promise I’ve been focusing on us and what I can do to make things better. But, I just want you to know that I’m willing to work through anything with you because the last thing I want is to lose you. I love you way too fucking much for that.”

“I love you too. I’m really glad you’re taking this seriously and I know it isn’t totally your fault. I fucked up too. Do you think tomorrow we can try to enjoy our time together as much as we can?”

“Of course. I have to go I have an interview, but we can talk in Chicago, right?”

“Yes.”

And that’s exactly what they did. The moment they were able to see one another in person again, it was almost as if the past week of constant fighting and animosity never existed because in the moment, it didn’t matter. In that moment it was clear that despite the problems they had, their love far outweighed the challenges they faced. Was Crystal still jealous of Fields? Yes. But, she allowed Gigi to explain herself, realizing that having the conversation face to face and seeing just how much her girlfriend cared, the genuineness radiating in her deep brown eyes, made her sure that there was nothing to be jealous of. Gigi had even thanked Crystal for forcing her to have a conversation with Fields, acknowledging that she was not only neglecting her relationship with Crystal by keeping the truth from her, albeit unintentionally, but she was also neglecting one of her best friends by never properly addressing their past. Even in their worst moments, Gigi and Crystal always managed to bring out the best in one another in the end and came out even stronger, and even more confident, on the other side.

Jaida was relieved to see the two holding hands, impossibly close to one another while giggling in their own little world, before their show. She knew they would be alright because they’re Gigi and Crystal - they had a bond that couldn’t compare to anything else. While this was their longest and nastiest fight yet, Jaida figured that wasn’t too bad after being in a secret long distance relationship for over a year while simultaneously in the spotlight after being catapulted to fame. If Jaida had any doubts, they were safely put to rest after the show when she walked in on Gigi and Crystal in a rather compromising position in her dressing room. 


End file.
